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Inside the Mind of a TORA [entries|friends|calendar]

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lghaflghd [30 Aug 2005|09:15am]


delete this mouko shit and add torauko

bitches and hoes...
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Cock it and pull it... [04 Aug 2005|09:07pm]
[ mood | bored yet kinda pleased ]

Ho hum...... boredum-dum-dummmmm....
How I long for Fall Out Boy's sweet graces upon my stereo speakers... ;o;

I've been dancing to that song in my new haircut and knee socks XP Thank you yahoo music!

John Bob is back today and that is good. I had fun w/ out him though!XDD Midnight runs w/Kaku and Lilly! weeee! X3

Registration is tomorrow.... ew x__

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Watch in Awe... Aeria Gloris [19 Jul 2005|10:33pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]

Talon upon talon in cruel vengence a moths wing from redemption. Subtle and ghastly the dawn seaped in. The beast would fail to grasp the cause that lay ahead, the consequence suffered numerous times before. Nothing prepared her for the calming touch, the slight of hand that drew her mind to abandon itself. Infinately cooling to the sufuric loneliness.

To close your eyes and breathe, to be taken by surprise, to be hushed...

and like every minute of it!

How did this happen? And to me? A wonderful sense of longing, a beautiful friendship and a welcoming grasp. Astonishing.

I don't know why, but I am so happy

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Loneliness a constant friend and lover i know well... [15 Jul 2005|07:31pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Grasping at withered ends of fallen flowers. All the leads dissipate, and I’m alone again. Striking out at nowhere in the darkness where you cannot see the light. Pain fills the veins but she will not show it. A last disguise will be that of false courage. How to start again? Find you again oh lovely bloody pedals? This is the most grueling torture, to have loved and lost. True friends slip away the most quietly. The blaze of fire has nothing left to burn, save for the withered mess of ashes and decay. How could a legacy be carried on with no memories? Who would be left to say my name? Sweet beautiful… how could I protect you, when there is nothing left but silence, and no one is calling? When they are just words…Darlings, oh my beautiful friends, with pale skin, and infinite eyes…

The last tears a Tora would shed are tears for you, my lovely fallen flower…

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ow [09 Jul 2005|07:07pm]
[ mood | guilty ]

I'm no longer grounded!

that is all...

not really.
you know me better than that come on.
We all must hang out and salvage whatever summer is left!!! Come now! Come!

*goes off into own world* come on come on.. things were good when we were young...

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[08 Jul 2005|07:49pm]
[ mood | sad ]

You scored as Loner.










Drama nerd




Ghetto gangsta




What's Your High School Stereotype?
created with QuizFarm.com
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so long and good night [05 Jul 2005|08:43pm]
[ mood | destroyed ]

Fourth of July (Independece Day for Codependent Americans):
So I spend the morning figuring out what we do on Tues for Doku. I'm calling around and inviting people and blah blah blah. My parents are destroying the floor, there's dust everywhere and the most earsplitting noise. This goes on till four. Then we finally go to Malibu to see some fireworks.I was so excited that I could see the ocean I had been wearing my suit all day. The first words that come out of my Mom's mouth are: "You know you're not going swimming" I'm standing outside the car w/ her and I'm like why not? So she starts yelling at me saying I should have grabbed a towel and how I never plan things ahead. To make a long story short, she wouldn't let me run in and grab a towel (even though it would take 5 secs and we ended up waiting for Dad for 5 mins) and so I couldn't go in the water. We fought all in the car. I was so upest and I just wanted to be left alone but she was trying to piss me off so I'd argue. This kid was blatantly staring at me in Baja Fresh, and I gave him a dirty look and that didn't do anything. We get there and my mom waits in line for 20 mins in a Jack in the Box and I'm outside with Dad freezing my ass off looking in an autotrader mag, while this hobo is eyeing me and this fast and furious wanna bes are yelling obscene things at me through a megaphone. We finally get to the beach and all I can see are couples kissing each other and my parents are going on and on and I was so upset I wanted to drown myself. I'm walking along the beach and I see this dead pelican w/ this live one standing next to it. It was so pretty how it was just standing there by it's friend. Then we saw these dolphins and somehow it wasn't so special because my mom and brother were there and I believe dolphins are a private thing, like if you keep them a secret they are so much more beautiful. Then they leve and I wanted to cry. Everytime I see dolphins in the ocean I get really sad. I don't know why but they are like the only thing that can make me cry. Then the fireworks came on and you couldn't actually see them, but whenever a red one went off it looked like the sky was on fire. The whole time I was there, so cold I couldn't feel my feet and on the verge of tears. I just sat there in the dark by myself. I wasn't even allowed to lay down in the sand.

Today: I set my alarm so I can wake up and let Josh know where we are going to be at I Hop before he leaves for school. Then I try and sleep. Then emily calls and says it's canceled. I get really pissed off. The home inspector comes while I'm sleeping and is walking through the house so I have to get away down stairs. He comes down with my dad. I am sooooo freakin ticked off at this point, but the guy starts cracking jokes and says "You know it's even better when they're 18 and they're gone". I alsmot screamed at him but I remembered I don't want to be grounded anymore. I don't even know why I am. Now I have a headache and I have to go.

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Forgotten history [03 Jul 2005|08:55pm]
[ mood | rejected ]

Tora is an ancient beast. It lives it's life as the embodiment of the wild spirit. The deepest darkest longing. Sightings were often a case of mistaken identity. The pheonix for example. When humans saw a flying winged creature of fire they assumed it was a bird. Tora was always born again, and so given a new name. The one for this cycle is of course Tora. Time dwindles and humans are no longer comforted by the ever present immortal. Shunned, the Tora is sent into exhile, for this and other reasons. As she is immortal she cannot be swiftly destroyed. Her demise is slow and only she can save herself.
There is only one way to kill an immortal. To forget and make them forget. Things forgotten cannot live. Simple.
THat was how they planned it. I will not forget. I will remember when the thought of memories cease to exist.

I give up.
This time I really do.
How could I expect anything to work.
I'm different.
I could always whisper in your ears when you all die.
That seems fitting.
That's all we are.

"Don't forget ... don't forget"

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spootinaety [28 Jun 2005|05:11pm]
[ mood | mrowllllll ]

oy oy oy, do parents ever suck. I cannot waaaiiit to move out.
I went shopping w/ Crys today. We saw Sikander's AMV, bought birhday presents, and went searching for jobbies.


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mrow? [27 Jun 2005|06:03am]
[ mood | baffled? ]

Anya is curled up at the back of my neck like a bird... or a cat... or something else that will sit on your shoulder and sleep. It's sooo cute! x__n

*Le sigh* My last day of summer school is tomorrow, and although I would love to be able to sleep in and such, I believe I'll loose whatever remaining stable contact I have with others. Damn.

Um.... I don't know what esle is happening. I'm going to Arizona for the Fourth of July. We're gonna buy fireworks and ride motorcycles.... sweet

I've finally figured out how to sum up all that I hate: Human Rational

DOKUSEI BURN ME THE *shift eyes* TBM!!!!!!! *whispers* shhh it's a secret! XD

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I DO update bitches! [25 Jun 2005|10:46pm]
[ mood | I don't knoooow! ]

Allright allright allright...
So I'm sitting here, with a celtic cross spread laid out infront of me. You guys know what I asked about.. and if not I don't care. The outcome card is The Devil. It's actually a good card in this situation I suppose. Everything is dead on. Isn't Tarot fun? x__n
I am sooo ticked off right now. But not so much mad, dissapointed and frustrated. It seems that everything good that happened this past week or so backfired in my fucking face. That myspace creep. What an asshole. Tried to blame everything on me! HE was the one who tried to phone sex me and shit (did w/ Crys too, which made me extra mad cuz I don't want ANYONE messing w/ my friends)and then he says I'm self absorbed and coy. I'm ashy person when I first meet people you guys know that. He thought it was an act. AN ACT! asshole... Part of me wishes he was right here, so I could dig out his flesh with my nails. What's the point of trust in this world? It's gone. I don't believe in it much anymore. Then there was something else that turned up, that might have been wonderful, but I found out 10 mins earlier that it didn't exist. I don't know what to do about this situation. *sigh* so that's what the celtic cross was for. I still don't know if the omen was good or not. I'm pretty sure it is, but not good in how others might see it.
Here's the thing: Ever since summer started, I've been questioning all of my values and morals. I've been tryuing to figue out my philosophy on life. NOW I know why Thearou went to the woods in Walden. There are so many unwanted influences, that just when I think my mind is straight, something conflicts, and I have to question everything again.
I CAN'T WAIT TO MOVE OUT! Honestly, I need to be myself. I don't want such a controllinh enviornment. There is nothing I can do in my own home that I can do without worrying. Worrying, "oh, what if my mom comes in" or "Oh, I know they are going to be ticked off at his", or " what if there isn't any food". I just KNOW I could fix things, I KNOW I would be happy and at peace, but the even most material and insignificant plans of others always come before the necessities of answering the great questions in life. WHO AM I, WHERE AM I GOING, AND WHAT AM I GOING TO FIND WHEN I GET THERE? It's the classic story of all human society, no one finds a point to anything. I'm restricted by "opportunity".
I'm hungry. I had tuna fish and chips for dinner. THe largest meal I had all day was miniwheats and a Pop Tart for breakfast. THat reminds me.... I forgot Katie's Pop Tart again --;;;
The highlight of my day was going to the mall w/ OOkami and Lilly chan. Cuz we went to this bookstore, and they had the coolest witch book. I want to buy it (i need a job *gags on the word*). The author was this really awesome chick, who had these two snakes (that's most of my attraction to the book right there, the snakes). There were pictures of her in there (some of them she was naked. There were boobs! XD I can hear Katie and Emily yelling at me, and Doku confirming I'm a lesian XP. I saw these two girls making out at summerschool, and it was really cool. OKay, this is the longest thing I've ever put between two parenthesis) with Lulu (a snake) and showed her doing salutes and rituals, and walks. OH it is sooo awesome. I want to have the freedom to do that when I move out. I'm dedicating one of my rooms to the magick.
Hmmm... what else. my snake is getting fat. She's so cute! X3 I ove her! I took her in the shower and she got all nice and clean!!!!
I'm doing a lot of projects (or at least planning them anyway). Another one is I'm going to make a dragon board (like a ouija board only for astral entities). Soooo cool! Maybe, if it works, people can do it with me! HA! awesomeness.
Wow. This is really long. I think I'm going ta cut it out....

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stir crazey... stir fried... [11 Jun 2005|03:23pm]
[ mood | Eheheh... ]

So it turns out my folks aren't dragging me out to the valley today. Hm.. that might actually be a good thing, if I had something to do! My day has consisted thus far as sleeping, eating, and Tekken 2. *Taps foot* It's this town I tell yah.. or maybe the fact all of my friends actually have lives. Huh...
I'm getting fat. *pokes tummy* Yup... just like jello. I need to get out and exercise. But that would require getting up.... and this chair is squishy and warm ^^;;
Yesterday was pretty awesome. I went to Josh's and beat him at Tekken 5. Then Chris came over and I beat him too! HA! Easy challenge my ass... We went to 7-11 in Chris's car. I got stuck in the back. Eeeewwww... But the radio was playing RIO (stuck in my head all day) by Duran Duran and that was awesome cuz he has the most bitchin speakers in the trunk! When we got back, Josh tried to lock me in the car, or decapitate me or something and I ripped my ear. Ouch. We were talking about the peculiar habits of animals and the even more peculiar habits of Chris with animals... Yup. There were a few conversations I felt a bit uncomfortable with being the only one without a penis. Ehehe. But it was funny. The Happy Tree Pals (Happy Tree Friends?) were on tv and that was great. That poor beaver... the ardvark (not an elephant) was kickass though. Um... then we ate tacos and played with lightsabers. Damn kid pickin on me. *Shrug* Yup, then Chris left and I did around 10. Very cool.
Ummmmmmmmmmmmm... I think that's all I have to report meh droogies.
Peace out and such!

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Mrah.... One hell of a murder tramp... [07 Jun 2005|06:30pm]
[ mood | content ]

Okay.... so
Nothing really has happened since the last time I updated. Well, maybe a little.
Emily and I got the most kick ass Star Wars cups at the 7-11. So many creepy guys were honking at us while we were walking, I decided to flash the next person who did. My shirt got stuck x__n;;; eheheheh. Emily had a good time laughing at me.
Then there was an empty blah space. I thought my dad was going to drag me out to the woods to kill me. Turns out he just needed to talk and almost cried. Scary shit. Our house hold is decent once more.
I found a ballon animal making kit in the house, and figured why the hell not?
So after many attempts, one came out decent. I thought I would go get some sushi, and decided to see if Josh would come since he was closest. Turns out he went to the hospital cuz they thought his appendix exploded. The next day, it turns out he was ok. He just had a viral infection or whatever. I gave him the balloon animal that turned out decent, and we watched vidieos from lightsaber day. Pretty awesome.
Uhmmmnnnn... I think that's it. ^^


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Boo. [04 Jun 2005|10:26pm]
[ mood | pessimistic ]

*Yawns and stretches, cracking fingers one by one*

Yo. So it's me. I have been gone from this little slice of heaven called "the internet" for quite some time it seems. Well,... I'm ba-ack.
I honestly don't know what to write. This moment, this hunk of time, feels exactly like those old movies, where all the highschool kids finally graduate. Then they all look at each other, sigh, and reminisce. Inevidably, they all cry when they realize that their memories can never be relieved. That they are all older and hopefully wiser. That they need to move on.
However, it seems I shall cling to livejournal for dear life and future prospects.

*Insert yet another segment entitled "Current Events" here please.*
- Cut my own hair, I am preparing for senior pictures
- Got a tattoo. Waiting for Kaku's gun to make sure the ink takes firm hold to my boob flesh.
- Getting a job.
- Not only is the art wall complete, a mural has been fashioned during all the free time I aquired while locked in my fortress upstairs.
- A new art/ poetry (if that's what you call it) wall has been born. Sadly, it's life span is not a long one, and will reach adulthood shortly due to lack of space. Where will I go from there I wonder. An answer is yet to be found.
- A new character has entered my family of muses. He's really cool. Spines come out of his back, and his fur is black and white which makes him look skeletal. He, like all the others, has no name.
- I got a myspace. I should shoot myself in the foot for that.
- I ran out of sketch book pages, and must soon venture out into the "real world" to get another book.
- I am now obsessed with painting red eyes.
- I am bored out of my fucking head.
- I'm a senior now.

Well, now that that is out of the way, how else to busy myself? Hmmm... I'm running out of ideas. I shall have to ask my muses. To the batcave and such...

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MRAH! HOLY F****** SUNOVABITCH! [09 May 2005|04:46pm]
[ mood | irritated ]

1.) Found metal mistress thingy in the office
2.) Cookies bought from Albertsons. I caved and gave Dwyane one of mine XP. PSh... Not a friend indeed.
3.) I didn't get an F
1.) Report Card came and I am "without extra opportunities". No compy at all really, I kind of snuck on. So yeah, I'm not officially grounded. I don't even know what my punishment IS really.
2.) It rained and I got all frizzy and crap
3.) No more makeup, and Mom won't take me to get more.
4.) I was supposed to go out today but I can't now
5.) I had my mind on being mad at Double J for ditching Anti-Prom and not telling me, but they saw me walking this morning and wave. I tried to ignore them but I broke and waved back. Damn them for being so cute.
6.) Resorted to downing cough syrup. eww...

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Today is the Prom.... the ANTI PRoM! wooho0t! [07 May 2005|09:39am]
[ mood | mischievous ]

Okee. Today is Anti-Prom, tomorrow is Mother's Day, and if teh delivery is speedy, Monday is when I die (*crosses fingers and prays to the Man of Pac for Tues*). So...uh... yes. Well...
It's 9:47 right now and I'm heading out at 11:00 to go and get fiesta supplies. Shaa. I'm too lazy to be getting up ^^;;
Ho-hum... what to discuss...
Oh! My and Dokusei found two Starbursts on the ground the other day and ate them. They were berry and still good. ^^
On another note, the Art Wall is up and alive!!! It's alive it's alive!! MuhahaA! Although it doesn't reflect the full splendor of the origional (my mom made me edit it ;__;) it is a good incarnation. I have sooo many papercuts! Battle scars! wo0t! I'ma going to have to extend it to my InuYasha homeage wall once I get enough pictures to start.
It's now 10:00. I need to shower. yup.
((_crayola_((>~~~ woo...

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Is a kiss just a kiss? [03 May 2005|07:08pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Recent events have led me to inquire on the basics of life.
1.) Where am I going?
2.) Who cares?
3.) Why do I care?

More and more I think about these recent attractions, and wonder. Contemplation is an activity I seem to excel at (whether that is good or bad I have yet to decide). I feel like I'm slipping. Last night I felt like all my problems on the subject were solved. I was confident in what I did. I felt no regrets. Now that I have had time to ponder the matter, I am so confused I can't tell up from down. I know that sounds dreadfully dramatic, but hey, no one is making you read it right? *twitch twitch*
Furthermore, what really gets to me is that I would not take it back for the world over. I KNOW it was wrong, but it didn't FEEL that way. I suppose all I want is something tangible.

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I'm at school wo0t wo0t [27 Apr 2005|08:25am]
[ mood | indescribable ]

Okay dokay... this is tres awesomeness cuz I'm at school writing this? How you may ask? CUZ DOKUSEI OCKS AND I NOW KNOW THE PROXY!!!!!! MuAHAHAahahahA. Man this keyboard sucks.
Okay, I thought I would mention the silly thing that happened to me last night:
*Insert segment titled: The Great Escape here please*
Alright alright my little droogies. So I was attempting to do HW and when I do, I leave the top of Anya's cage open so that she can crawl out if she can manage it. She's so cute and pretty easy to spot when she's crawling out so it didn't matter. However, I left the room, and the telly snagged meh vision. For a half an hour I was watching teh Futurama. I went back up in my room to realize I left the lid off. I looked in there for her not that worried cuz she usually never gets out. Anya isn't there. "No big," I say confidently and I open the doors to the cabinet and look there for her (where she normally ends up). She ain't there. So I tare my room apart and run out into the hall looking in the other rooms frantically. I can't find her anywhere and am expecting to hear screaming from my mom's room at any time. I keep searching though. I walk in my room and decide to calm down and what not when I hear this crinkling sound. Looking up, Anya is on my art wall, stretched across the thmb tacs and trying to hold on. Since only Kaku, Emily and Josh have seen my room, I guess I should tell you that one of my walls is covered from ceiling to floor in art that I've either drawn or scavanged from somewhere. It's all just paper stuck on with tape and thumbtacks ub some sort of crazEy collage, but somehow she managed to get herself all the way near the top. XP So I take her down and put my room back together and go to bed. Yeah.... that was ...it. shutup
I watched several cool movies recently: Kill Bill, Kill Bill 2. Taxi, The Lost Boys, Amityville Horror, and I thought there was one more but I forgot ^^;; Yes. That's basically all... Oh! It was Clockwork Orange. That's the other one I saw x__n. Twas tres awesomeness. Poor Basil... RIP. He was so cute. The dude kicked ass. His name escapes me at the moment but he was awesome.
My life sucks and so does this journal. Plus the keyboard keys are sticking cuz the school compy (The clear cool lookin one x__n) bites ass.

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Jumped by a Mongoose... [20 Apr 2005|09:18pm]
HIT LIST (i.e. those who have been hit...... except for us ^.~ ):
Dylan (bonus pointz)
Crys x2
Chris x2
Heather H. x2
Daniel x2
Moses x2
Dwyane x4
Desi x2
Emily x3
Zach x2

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Off with yer head..... bitches. [17 Apr 2005|06:38pm]
[ mood | meh? ]

I can't type I just want to type like this blah blah blah blah okay

So um... yeah. *thinks muttering* how to sum up a weekend?... hmmm.
I went with Kaku and teh Fey to the park yesterday. My relatives were over (the only ones I like) but they were too busy destroying the house to notice I was gone. XP We had a massive water fight. Kaku brought water balloons, and we raided a party for ice. We also launched doogie bags (which I heard are used for packaging crack in Bullhead City) full of water at each other. Yeah. So after we were all soaking wet, we decided to leave butt and boob prints on the side walks. Kaku was rolling around and we had to call her to roll back. Then we ran around chasing each other with the midget's dogs and yeah.... I know I'm getting hit for that later...
We spent the night at Katies house. Emily fell asleep and Kaku and I stayed up on the computer watching the Red Octopus and investigating weird churches. We figured out that we are MOOists and that PacMan is god. XP "he turneth thy enemies blue!!!" But uh yeah... then when we finally decided to sleep I pissed everyone off. Emily got me back by drowning me.
Then we watched a cartoon that lasted a half an hour. It was utterly pointless because everyone died via h-bomb, Mr. Weight, or being kicked in the head. We found random characters that resembled friends. Emily was a blabering dude w/ an umbrella, katie was the short stick figure that was kind of odd, Dokusei was a large stick figure that was tellin the others how pointless the whole cartoon was, and Double J was a pair of tall stick figures that crashed 50 times before making it to Mars and ended up dying anyway when they realized that they were the only ones left alive in a world that blew up at least 9 times. I'm not sure but I think I was the kamakazie watermelon.
Anyhoot. Then Crys came over and after watching an Indian guy dance, we tried to sneak out the back and yeah I can tell you about that later.
EVENTUALLY we made it to the mall. We had mucho fu with a broken basketball game at Tilt. Kaku and Crys made fake crack. Then we went to the mall where Crys and Kaku had to lift me up in the air in order to retreave a balloon. XD We went into a total of 3 stores. The first was the evil store which had replaced the only music store in the mall. We laughed at the merchendise, then went to the Topic that is Hot. Kaku found goggles, and Emily and I discovered that they no longer carry erotic candy thongs XD. We then lounged in Bombay, having sword fights and playing Spongebob. Yeah....
Okay. So we finally get bored and wandered down to Target (first stopping at Sees cuz chocolate is god)where we bought dollar crap and hung out with Chris. We had an awesome time running wild through the store.
After a bit we went home, loaded up on Japanese crap XP.

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